We have mentioned the bitterness and pain that accompanies the early stages of t'shuva. When people begin to enter the realm of t'shuva, they start to experience a fear, an uncertainty, an inner anguish and pain. While this unpleasant aspect of t'shuva is quickly overshadowed and forgotten in the baal t'shuva's pursuant great joy, it is a necessary step in the process. Recognizing its value and purging effect can help the penitent weather the stormy seas he must travel. The knowledge that the sun is shining just behind the clouds can give him the strength to continue. In the same way that a woman soon forgets the agonies of childbirth in the happiness of being a mother, the baal t'shuva quickly forgets the "labor pains" of t'shuva in the great joy of his rebirth.

The knowledge that the sun is shining just behind the clouds can give him the strength to continue

Delving one step deeper, Rabbi Kook explains that the pain of sin results from the disharmony it causes between the soul and the essential goodness of life and the universe.

When a person falls into the darkness of sin...

Rabbi Kook's level after level exploration into the psychology of sin does not end in despair, but in peace and salvation.

Ironically, depression prepares the way for the joy which the baal t'shuva discovers. To understand this deep concept, we have to understand that it is the sense of G-d's majestic perfection which causes sin to be so intolerable. When a person is aware that his sadness over his sins results from the Divine light working on his soul - this recognition brings unparalleled joy and satisfaction. He feels that G-d is with him! He senses G-d's presence! This is the spiritual happiness which accompanies the feeling of depression in the heart of the baal t'shuva. Thus the pain and melancholy which a person experiences because of his sins is, in fact, the wonderful sign that G-d has already turned toward him to bring him healing and joy (Ibid, 15:9).