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Question:

The Code of Jewish Law

Answer:

It is true that the halachic authority, the Rama, writes that a man can do anything he wants with his wife (with her approval,) but he adds that the husband must take care not to spill his semen in vain.

Furthermore, he emphasizes that while many liberties are permitted, it is preferable to sanctify oneself in what is permitted and not to engage in immodest practices, (Aven HaEzer, 25:10.) However, the commentary, "Hilchat Michukek," comments on this Rama, by emphatically questioning the validity of any marital behavior that results in the spilling of semen in vain, (see there.)

The danger of spilling semen in vain when engaging in relations from the rear stems from several factors. First, entering the wife's vagina from this position is awkward, and, in the passion of the act, this can lead to a premature ejaculation. Furthermore, Rabbi Eliahu Leon Levi explains that klipot of impurity are most concentrated around the buttocks of the woman, and they stir up the man's yetzer hara to bring about a premature ejaculation. In addition, because the wife faces downward, the force of gravity will cause semen to spill out from her vagina.

Darke Tahara

"Even though there are things which are permitted for a husband to do, nothing good will come from them. Regarding this, the Gemara lists physical blemishes that can occur to a newborn when the manner of sexual relations was not conducted in a proper way, even though permitted, (Nedarim 20A.)

"Thus, even though it is permitted to have relations at whatever time one wants, the Jewish People are holy and don't have relations during the daytime hours, (Niddah 17A.)

"And even though one may kiss whatever part of his wife's body that he wants, it is forbidden to look at or to kiss his wife's sexual organ, (Aven HaEzer, 230:4.)

"And even though it is permitted to have relations from the rear (into his wife's sexual organ,) it is forbidden to do so against her will, for to do so is like rape. And if she does agree, one must be careful not to spill semen in vain, for whomever spills semen in vain is like a murderer. Nonetheless, one may not conduct relations in this manner on a regular basis, but only very infrequently, (See the Rama, Aven HaEzer, 25:2 and 10; Niddah 13A.)