Jewish Sexuality dot Com

I’m Going Whacky!
QUESTION:
I am married and have children and consider myself very religious.  I learn every day, daven every day, teach Torah classes, and lead a pretty frum life.  However I can't stop thinking about sex. 

Question:

I am 22-year-old baal t'shuva (returnee to religious lifestyle). I was not raised very religious, and early on I was exposed to pornography and sexually impure images. Over time I became obsessed with pornography, and later, during my teens, when the internet started to become popular, I quickly became addicted to internet porn.

Question:

My work entails many searches through Google pictures. Photos of immodest women invariably pop up, and I find it impossible to avoid gazing at these. Any advice?

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I am not suggesting that your Torah sources are in error, but it seems to me that you have exaggerated with all of your fire and brimstone warnings. I can see a movie, or see sexy pics on the Intrnet, go to a crowded beach, or spend a day with a pretty woman and never experience a wet dream or the desire to masturbate. I am sure this is true for most men, not only me.

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I fail to understand the great sin in looking at sexy pictures on the Internet. It doesn't make me do anything evil. I don't masturbate when I watch. I just enjoy seeing pictures of beautiful women.

QUESTION:
I am married but I also have some homosexual desires. I know someone who does too. Are we allowed to be unclothed before each other and hug and feel as long as we don’t spill any semen in vain (motzie zera)?

Also, my wife and I like to do different positions – standing, sitting, doggy style etc. Is that forbidden? Can my wife and I watch porn to enhance our sexual pleasure? Can a man watch porn alone if he will have relations later on that night? Thank you.

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Hard to concentrate, huh?

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Just this one last time...

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As a woman living in a modern Orthodox community, I have a question. If immodesty and suggestive clothing is such a terrible thing, why don't we hear rabbis constantly warning about its dangers? I have never heard the rabbi at our shul address the issue at all.

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It happened again! For the last four months I’ve been clean – no porn on the Internet, no m@sturb@ting, studying Torah as much as I can, exercise, going out with friends, anything to prevent me from being alone with the computer. Then I lost everything.

Question: Don’t you think that over-emphasizing sex is making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Answer: They scoffed at Noach too! They ridiculed him. They laughed. No one paid any attention to his warnings. For 120 years, he worked on building the ark, so that people would pass by and ask what he was doing, giving them a chance to repent.

Question:
I have a big problem. At the moment I am looking to date. One girl was suggested and I looked her up on Facebook to see her profile and her pictures. The more I looked the more I began to see her in a much more sexual way. I gazed and gazed and then when I went to the bathroom, my underwear had semen in it. How do I do proper Teshuva? I have stopped porn and masturbating but this is still a big problem. Is this considered spilling seed like masturbating? If so, what do I do to rectify this and truly do shidduchim the proper way?

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Gymnastics in intimacy turns worlds upside down

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In other words: the birds and the bees, if you please

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Nothing will wake her up

Question:
I think you place too much emphasis on sexuality. What does it have to do with Israel or the Jewish People?

Answer:
Sexuality has everything to do with Israel and the Jewish People. Mankind’s first transgression, which brought about man’s expulsion from the Garden of Eden, resulted from Adam and Eve’s misusing the holy sexual energy that G-d had placed in the world.

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Question:

For some time now my Torah studies and prayers have been without any enthusiasm and joy. I feel that G-d isn't inside me at all. When I read some of the things on this site, I suddenly understood where the problem was stemming from - looking at women, fantasizing about them, and masturbating just about every day. I understand that all of these things are prohibited, but it would help me to understand more clearly why they are so harmful to my Judaism and feeling close to G-d.