Jewish Sexuality dot Com

Rabbi Kook's level after level exploration into the psychology of sin does not end in despair, but in peace and salvation.

"When an individual contemplates embarking on a course of total t'shuva, of mending all of his feelings and deeds, even if this is only a thought, he must not be discouraged by the feelings of fear which arise when he faces his many sins, which now seem so pronounced. This is only natural, for as long as a person is seized by the baser side of his nature, and by the dark, negative traits which surround him, he does not feel the weight of his sins so strongly. Occasionally, he feels nothing, and fancies himself a tzaddik. But since his moral sense is awakening, the light of his soul immediately is revealed, and it probes all of his being and exposes all of his wrongs. Then his heart shudders with great fear over his lowliness and lack of perfection. But it is exactly at this instant that he should feel that this awareness, and the worry it causes, are the best signs, forecasting a complete salvation through self-perfection, and he should strengthen himself through this recognition in the L-rd his G_d" (Ibib, 8:16).

While pain is a necessary part of the t'shuva process, a person must be very careful not to let the pain of sin turn into depression to the extent that it weakens the will for t'shuva. Otherwise, Rabbi Kook warns, depression may spread like a cancer throughout the body and soul. One must always keep in mind the purging affects of spiritual pain and remember that the light of atonement is already working to return the soul to its natural state of joy. Even the physical and psychic pains that often cause a person to be more introspective, whether it be disease, the loss of a loved one, G-d forbid, or a setback in business, these too can be the springboards of t'shuva.