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Question:
Can you tell me about the halachic status of sex/energy pills? I see them for sale in the gas stations. Can I buy them? If the capsule is gelatin, I can use kosher vegetable ones and put the powder in it. I ejaculate too quickly and I want it to last. Is Viagra ok to use? How about pills that are advertised. Can i purchase them by mail order, or do I have to worry about the kashrus? I am doing something wrong by doing something to enhance my pleasure? Also, can my wife and I sit naked in a hotel room, and walk around like that, and do doggy style in the shower?
Answer:
We are not familiar with sex/energy pills. While it is advisable to buy medications and vitamins which have a certificate of kashrut, and to replace questionable capsules with kosher ones, some authorities allow the use of kashrut-less medications and vitamins, since they are not taken as food. Husbands who have a genuine need for Viagra can take it, and since there are kosher brands, they should be preferred.
A man who guards the holiness of his sexually is assured a long and healthy sexual life, as it says, “He shall be like a tree planted by streams of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper” (Tehillim, 1:3).
Marital relations are to be enjoyed by both husband and wife, as part of the love and holy attachment between them. However, the prime purpose of the marital act is not for the husband’s personal enjoyment, but rather to fulfill the commandment to be fruitful and multiply, to make the wife feel loved, and to enhance their loving connection. However, our Sages have cautioned that a husband should not be like a rooster with his wife, over-indulging in order to pamper his lust. From your question, it sounds like modesty and holiness may be missing from your marital relations, and this is probably the reason for your hurried ejaculations. Marital relations are to be conducted in darkness, and under a blanket or sheet, and not in a shower stall. While there are authorities who permit “doggy style” on rare occasions, others disagree, and others rule that if started in the wife’s rear opening, then before ejaculation the husband must withdraw and finish in his wife’s proper sexual organ. Kabbalists consider both these options as forbidden acts. Former Chief Rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Mordechai Eliahu, and the book “Resheit Chochmah,” Ch.17, clarify that the expression “not in her natural style” means from behind the wife but into her vagina. Sitting around naked in a hotel room is also not modest behavior, especially since a man is forbidden to look at a woman’s sexual organ.
Before becoming addicted to Viagra and other “sex energy pills,” try added more holiness to your relations. Think about holy things to dampen your lust, and study books like the “Resheit Chochmah” (see the excerpt on this site) to help you relate to marital sex as a holy act, and not just personal pleasure.
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