Hi,
I am so impressed with your insight.
Porn and selg gratification is so bad becuase ofthe inherent contradictions and catch 22.
the inherent contradiction is that in most cases the individual knows its worng, he can not stant the idea that he does what he does, it is aginst what he wants to do, but he can not understand why he doe it. this in turn causes his self esteem to plumet, he resents himself, he can not stand to be around himself because he is disgusted with who is and in turn can not stand to be around anyone, especially those that love him the most. he beats himseelf up with self loathing, he rejects HaShem because he can not uiderstand why he is suffering from this, he belives it tobe a punishment, HaShem has rejected Him, He must have rejected himbecause of whathe does. themore heis invoplved the more these empotions spiral out of control. he can not escape, he feels trapped,his back against the wall. This is truly a tradgey. If those that love him the most abandone him at the time of his need then he wall even further. do not forget, there is a reason why the spouse suffers from this aswell. it is notarbitray that one married an individual married this person with this problem. To have rachamim on this persone and support him takes a huge amount tof selflessness, the exact factor that this persone needs to learn. through your sacrfice and focus on another individual he can learn with Torah councilling to free him self with his self occupation and become a giver and not a taker. G-d Bless