Jewish Sexuality dot Com

Don’t Let Keri Get You Down!
By Rabbi Aharon Rota, author of “Taharat HaKodesh”

The main thing is not to let an accidental spilling of semen (keri) pull you down into depression and worry, and the fear that it will happen again. Don’t let excessive fear haunt you.

Go to sleep with a peaceful mind, not with a mind filled with apprehension and worry. And if a keri occurs during sleep (with a “wet dream”), G-d forbid, be very careful not to become depressed. When the forces of evil see that a man has sunken into depression and that a dark and bitter melancholy spirit (mara shchora) has covered him, they fall upon him with all of their force, because their root and vitality stems from the mara shchorah of melancholy.

While it is important to have a broken heart over willful transgressions and even over unintentional keri, you should know, my brother, that a broken heart does not mean depression. As the “Tanya” explains, a person whose heart is broken in repentance becomes more fortified and stronger in his service of G-d; for he is humbled and filled with a rejuvenating contrition. In contrast, depression numbs the heart with its sack of heavy melancholy, leaving the penitent listless, paralyzed in the very same place, no longer striving to be a servant of the L-rd, due to his low self-esteem. This is a great danger to the soul, because depression darkens the soul even more than the transgression itself! Know, my friend, that depression and a sunken spirit don’t benefit anything at all – rather they set the person further away from the goal of rectification.
You should also know, dear brother, that when you strive to advance to higher levels in serving G-d, the evil inclination rises up and pursues, trying to bring you to have a keri and forbidden thoughts. Let not this frighten you. Even if you should have a keri every night, Heaven forbid, don’t be frightened, nor succumb to depression. Be vigilant in your guard against this. Turn not aside from your repentance, and in the end, you will be the victor, and the forces of evil will disappear like straw blown away in the wind.  Even if many years have passed, and you are still haunted by this problem, don’t let this bring you down. For this is the path that your tikun must follow.

The main thing, guard yourself against looking at forbidden images intentionally, or to bring yourself to sinful thoughts and fantasies, may G-d have mercy. Busy yourself with repentance with all of your strength, and, with G-d’s assistance,             you will not be afraid of anything at all.